Personal Revelations

With our little family being in the midst of life changing education & location decisions, as well as financial difficulties & emotional struggles during the past year, I have been feeling an increased desire to put more strength behind my prayers by fasting.  However, due to pregnancy & nursing Liam, I have been unable to fast for almost two years.  For months I felt jipped, thinking I was missing out on a great opportunity to reinforce my pleas to the Lord, causing my perception of my prayers to be slightly weak & lacking in conviction.  Maybe if I could fast, things would improve faster.  Fast Sundays were the worst, making me feel guilty for eating breakfast in front of my faithful hubby, who seemingly took the brunt of fasting for our entire family upon himself.  

Unfortunately, these negative feelings continued compounding until a couple of months ago, when I was approached by a friend struggling with a similar situation, who asked what I did in alternative to fasting.  Her query forced me to take a step back and examine my life.  What WAS I doing in alternative to fasting?  What more could I be doing?  Then I started pondering the point of fasting: personal sacrifice.  What personal sacrifices was I currently offering to the Lord, in place of fasting?  

It came to me then that I was already sacrificing myself in the biggest, most important way of all.  Almost two years ago, I was privileged enough to become a joint creator in “Project Liam.”  That’s when the personal sacrifice began.  It wasn’t my first go at the baby thing, but this time, I finally understood it’s eternal significance.  From the time of conception, though I couldn’t fast, I was doing something so much greater that I was entitled to the richest blessings of the Lord, reserved especially for parents & mothers in particular.  I was housing one of His precious little spirits.  He was trusting me with one of His most prized possessions.  I realized that He would bless me with anything & everything I needed to be the best parent I could possibly be, as long as I continued faithful.

My sacrifice continues on as I nurse Liam with my body.  Knowing that breastfeeding is the healthiest, most natural form of nourishment for infants, I am proud to participate in this wonderful experience.  Reminding myself, as I do all I can do, the Lord will bless me with everything I stand in need of.  I will nurse Liam for a very short period of time & when it ends, I will be somewhat disappointed that I will take a hiatus from the total physical sacrifice of rearing an infant, as apposed to fasting.  Fortunately, I can now be content with either form of sacrifice, based on my situation in life, thanks to this new enlightened view.  No more feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in what I can’t do.  It’s time to have faith that the Lord will make up for my shortcomings if I prove myself worthy.